GTFOYS

GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF!!!! If you read that, it likely goes for you too. I don’t care how nice you are or how much of your life has been devoted to selflessly helping others. I do commend you. We should help others, but we shouldn’t feel proud about it. Feel free to try and get me to believe there should ever be any sense of pride or anything involved with helping others. It shouldn’t be a feeling, or an event. The fact that it is, suggests one of two things, or both.

1.) We’re so fucked, if our species is so far beyond the point of salvation, that being a human deserves an award.

Or, 2.) The warm sense of decentcy that comes will helping others is a product of ones selfishness. It may feel selfless, but you just do it to make yourself feel good because more importantly it makes you look good. Selfless people don’t expect or even want to be recognized. Much less a damn parade.

Let’s say that for pretends and stuff, that completely selfless people do in fact exist. And you are without a doubt one of them. You’ve literally spent your whole life doing as much as humanly possible for those that are not yourself. You truly enjoy it and take great satisfaction from knowing you benefited someone else’s life. Every night before bed you think to yourself “I can die happy” because you know with every fiber of your being you couldn’t have possibly done anymore to help. You say it every single night for decades and decades because you believe it to your very core. How confident are you that when you’re 70 you won’t be able to sleep one night because all of your efforts had only been exchanged with ungratefulness. All the memories come back from every little thought you ever had that pertained to something you wanted at some point during your time. The golden years should be the golden gd yrs. Full of smiles caused by happy thoughts from doing what we want. Even if we’ve lost our minds, we should enjoy whatever world end think we are in. (Maybe decades of satisfaction far outweigh the final years full of regrets).

Let’s say there is never a single regret, not one. [(Wayyy unlikely). Maybe I lack enough data, since my graduating class lacked a few several hundreds of peers, for me to make this assumption. I doubt there’s ever been more than maybe a handful of bright eyed bushy tailed 2nd graders that dreamt of someday, when they’re all growed up, they just go around wiping other people’s asses for a living. It’s just something they love doing. It’s definitely not the barely any pay and the even less appreciation they would receive.] But no regrets, let’s say. Could you confidently say you epitomize the journey we as humans should all follow? (I honestly can’t think of a more humane and honorable way to live a life). But I think you would have totally f’d yourself for your entire life.

You know how vividly awesome that scene in your spankbank is after all those years? Imagine how much better it would be if it actually happened! Instead of just being a terribly inaccurate fantasy of what you think would’ve happened. But you probably made the right decision by spending all night at the vet attempting to recessitate the bird that introduced itself to your windshield after work. Probably much easier to sleep at night than it would’ve spending a night getting your brains banged out like the shit you read about.

I thought I’d start you off with bit of hypothetical fun to maybe help get a seed sprouted for ya. To come out swinging with with polarizing hooks and uppercuts made about as much sense as having an opinion.

When I began spinning this fun lil yarn, I had no actual idea how Webster would describe an opinion. However, I did feel the need to inquire after that last jab I threw with the boxing analogy. (Right? I’m too much, I know 🤷). Having basically no shame doesn’t suggest I desire to sound like a ruhtard. So I webstered opinion in case I needed to rephrase a few things throughout this here ditty. The anticipation of most people not handling it well after being told their opinion literally means less than the air that comes out of my butt. Or their butt. Just any butt really.

Turns out, my point is actually more sound and academically correct than I was aware of. I could’ve saved a lot of time had I just pasted the definition of opinion since it was exactly what I said. Nearly verbatim. I just used a few more thousand words to emphasize the point of….. You don’t know shit and I dont know anymore than you do. We dont know SHIT. We think we do. This has been proven, so has that, yada yada yada. All that means is that so far it’s the only possibility within the confines of what our human brains can comprehend.

It don’t matter what you believe or how you think we got here. If you think humans are the end-all be-all with it all figured out. You my friend, might just need to go on and get the fuck over yourself…. 🤷